Taxi Talk

Due to the nature of my work, I travel a lot by taxi. Since then, I have been engaged in numerous trivial talks with the taxi driver. Some are super trivial; talking about my home town, Indonesia, travelling plans, etc. Some are interesting; discussing about the behaviour of taxi drivers, about governments and just recently, about love.

First of all, I'd like to thank the taxi driver just now (sorry, I didn't get your name, was under severe headache attack and I didn't want to make it worse by reading your name plate) for your kind advice. It's really funny and meaningful at the same time.

An Advise of Love

"Are your parents against interracial marriage?"

"Yes, as far as I know."

"What would you do if you love a man not of your race, love him very much? Would you go against your parents and fight for your love or listen to your parents?"

That question baffled me for a moment.

"I was never in such situation, so I don't know. Probably I'd listen to my parents. If they're against it, I won't push too hard. They know better."

"Well, my wife fight for me. And I'm glad she did. She went as far as going against her parents. Her parents disowned her at that time, wouldn't even look at me. Her brother pushed me and talked rudely to me. Now that we are happily living life as husband and wife, and still together until now, they accepted her back. Well, not too surprising, since her other siblings had failed marriages, though they married Chinese. The husbands of her sisters fell to gambling and womanizing. It's just so sad. So I tell you, don't marry young, marry around 28-30 years old, and marry the right guy."

He is a policeman retiree of Indian descent. Now he's working as taxi driver. His wife is Chinese. They are happily married for 40 years, have 4 children, all are brought up very well. His eldest son is a lawyer, earning $18,000/month. Single and very very available. His youngest son is of the same age as me and also a lawyer, though earning much less than his brother, "only" $6,000/month. His daughters, all look like Chinese, all are married to Indian guys. His sons all look like Indian, and his wife wants them to marry Chinese girls.

"You are a beautiful girl, so you need to be careful in choosing a guy. The key is to make sure that he's the right guy. My wife was sure that I am the right guy for her. That's why she fought hard for me. I didn't talk back to her parents and her brothers and that what made her love me and assured her that I'm the One. But she told me, if her brother assaulted me, just assault him back.

"Don't fall in love with guys who want to be intimate under the pretence of love. If he really loves you, he will wait. He will respect you. All the kissing, hugging can wait if he really loves you. If he says 'If you love me, you'll let me do that', just say to him, 'Then give me all your money if you really love me' (that's a good one by the way). That's what my wife said to me before getting married. She said, 'My money is mine and don't you dare spend any of it without my blessing. Your money is my money and I will manage it'. I love her and I trust her, so I give all my salary to her. Oh, and I wait until we get married of course. I respect her.

"I loved her then and I still love her now. Ever since we got married, she can't go to sleep if I don't hold her hand. Even though when she wakes up she's at the other corner of the bed, but when it's time to sleep, she has to hold my hand. So when she sleeps, I also need to sleep. I can't do anything with only one hand anyway.

"And people always know that my wife always sits on my right. No other people can sit on my right. Not even my children. They know it's the seat for my wife. All these little things that seem unimportant are very dear to me.

"So, the important point is to be sure that he's the right guy. He has to love you more than you love him. Test him if you need to, just like my wife did. She did that to make sure that I'm the One. She just suddenly disappeared for two weeks and I couldn't do anything right. When she came back, she said sorry and told me that it was to make sure I'm the right one.

"No matter what his race is, if he's the right one, fight for it."

Wow, that was one heck of an advice. (update) Now, I don't really agree to everything he said, but I do agree to those highlighted statements. I certainly don't want to go against my parents for love, again. Been there, learnt that, and won't do the same mistake ever again.

I can say that my relationship with my parents is pretty good. They know me ever since I was born. The guy whom I'm going to spend the rest of my life with (if he really exists) will only know me for around 3-4 years probably. Some say that the duration of knowing someone is not important, the quality is. Well, yes, I agree, and both the quantity and quality of my parents knowing me are good. So logically speaking, I shouldn't go fight with my parents for someone I barely know. If your relationship with your parents isn't good, then you should take advice from someone who's more like parents to you. (update ends)

I'm not racist or anything, and I believe my parents are also not racist. I respect all kinds of people as much as I can. I believe my parents don't want us to have interracial marriage because they don't want any evil whispers directed towards us. They just want the best for our lives. I believe so. After all, they're the ones who know us well ever since we're born. Who am I to say otherwise? And I know if the guy is the right guy, everything will work out well even though he's not Chinese.

So, go and find the right guy. Don't fall prey to temptation or sugar-coated whispers full of promise of love.